We FINALLY got to see santa today! After having to keep putting it off, we were able to drive down to the mall today and wait for a good half hour to see Santa. It probably wasn't really worth the wait since we didn't get done until 4:30 and Gunnar had missed his afternoon nap (which is at 3:30) and he very badly needed to nurse. It has been 4 1/2 hours by the time we got home since his last nursing... normally he goes no longer than 3 1/2 hours. Anyways, despite him starting to get cranky by the time we got to the front of the line, he was all smiles for Santa. In between each photo taken (which included all of us clapping and saying "yay gunnar" in order to get him to smile) he would look up at Santa and try to grab his glasses. I was so glad he wasn't scared of him and that we actually got a good picture!

very merry.

Here are the rest* of the pictures from our little Christmas photo shoot

Yes this is a picture of his foot, and yes, this is one of my favorites.

*by rest I mean there's still more to be taken. These were done right before nap time (why I would decide to do it then I'll never know) so we have another session hopefully tomorrow if all goes well.

on the move.

10 months have gone by and crawling was no where in sight. We pretty much gave up any hope of it happening since Gunnar had well moved onto bigger and better things... cruising. It didn't help that the child would immediately roll onto his back once place on his stomach. Every. Single. Time.

Lately, though, he hasn't been so against being on his stomach. After falling onto his bum more times than I can count, he really had no choice but to enjoy being on his belly. Yesterday he started to really get into it and would push him self around in a circle (as he used to do months ago) and would kick his legs fanatically. And then it happened.... to my surprise, this morning, I spotted my child one moment laying on his back next to the couch and the next he is on his stomach in the middle of the living room. How the heck?? I kept an eye on him and watched as he started to low crawl towards a block that was on the floor. I was shocked! What? My child? The one who was supposed to skip the crawling stage and go straight to walking..... actually low crawling! And to think it literally happened over night! I was so happy for him. He needs to work on his upper body strength badly so this will help a ton.

Watch out.

Gunnar is on the move.

And he's goin' fast too!

Christmas Preview


Not Me! Monday

Yikes! I haven't done a "not me" monday post in a LONG time! Oopsie!

This afternoon, I most definitely did NOT go upstairs to get Gunnar up from his nap (after letting him stay there and cry for a bit) then rush back downstairs to get my phone so I could take a picture of this:

Nope, not me. I would never leave my child crying in his crib after he already saw me come to "rescue" him!

beanie baby.

My latest project that I *loooove*. I'm more in love with the fact that I started yesterday afternoon and finished tonight. About 5 hours total maybe?

Needle Size: 16" size 7 circ
Yarn: I honestly don't remember the name of it because I bought it a while ago, but it's wool =)

Brim folded down

brim folded up

*gotta give credit to Courtney B. for the catchy title. 


The first 4 pictures were taken by me:

These next ones were taken my by cousin's husband:

The Babies (cousins)
Noah (3 mo), Caitlyn (4 mo), Gunnar (9 mo)
 yes... gunnar is the smallest of the three

(not a good picture of me, but it's the one my cousin's husband chose to send)


The BWing section is complete (ok sorta... I need to add resources)!
Head on over here and check it out!

*Feel free to leave thoughts/comments/questions on that page.

Ten on Tuesday

1. A Thanksgiving post will be coming as soon as I get the pictures from my cousin's husband.. promise!
2. I was bitten today for the first time. Luckily, it was just on my leg, but it hurt!
3. I finally decided to let Gunnar CIO*. He's 9 1/2 months and without a doubt should be sleeping through the night. He's more than capable of putting himself back to sleep but has gotten used to me doing it for him. So, for 2 nights, I slept downstairs and let him cry each time he woke up without going upstairs. Like I knew he could, he put himself back to sleep. I would go upstairs at 5:30 to nurse him then he went back to sleep until 8:30. It was wonderful. He's not completely STTN yet, but we're getting there.
4. Speaking of, he's finally got himself on a new 2 nap routine. It works wonderfully. I love it.
5. See?
8:30- wake up & nurse
9:30- breakfast
11:00- nap
1:00- wake up & nurse
2:00- lunch
3:30- nap
5:30- wake up & nurse
7:00- dinner
8:00- bed

6. I went a whole week without making a post. Oops! Sorry!
7. Gunnar makes this awfully annoying sound now. I don't know how to describe it other than it involves a lot of spit and sounds like gurgling. (ick!)
8. I'm SO thankful that Gunnar cannot crawl. Why, you ask? Because if he could, there is no way I would have been able to sit him on the bathroom floor in front of my computer (which was playing a favorite show of his) while I took a shower... and have him not make one single peep. It was heavenly.
9. Has it been mentioned how much this child love green beans? It's true. I didn't think it was possible for a baby to have a certain favorite food.. but if it is, green beans is certainly his. Oh, and mac n cheese it out. He's less than thrilled with it.
10. I have 2 weeks left of this semester. Thank Gosh!

Ten on Tuesday

1. Who in their right mind waits until there is only ONE diaper left to do the laundry? Oh yeah... me.
2. New addiction- cafe world. I said I wouldn't play any other facebook app besides farmville but curiosity got the best of me... and now I'm hooked. That can't be good for the little one, can it?
3. Gunnar is officially off pureed foods (yuck!). I'm a little sad because now I can't make his baby food, but I do still make all of his "big people" food so I guess that's ok.
4. He had his first Gerber Graduates meal yesterday. Ravioli and green beans. He LOVED it.
6. My son definitely chewed on the dog's toy. Yuck. Did I bother to stop him when I noticed? No way. It was too cute lol.
7. I'm actually caught up on my "thankful for" posts. Crazy huh? I didn't think that would happen.
8. I've re-fallen in love with PFs*. They're amazing and oh so simple and easy. I've decided that my first big purchase is going to be 2 dozen PFs, a couple GMs**, and the new flip diaper. The fitteds will ONLY be for nighttime and the PFs will be during the day.
9. We're working on more signs now. Even though Gunnar hasn't learned any sign other than "milk", I have. In addition to: more, milk, thank you, please, mama, and food being part of our daily conversations, I am now doing colors, dog, book, and phone.
10.  Isn't he just precious?

**Goodmama Diapers


My Education

While I do gripe and groan about my classwork and homework, I am still thankful that I have the opportunity to even go to school. Not everyone does, especially not on grants alone. I'm thankful that I live somewhere that values higher education and provides the resources necessary to achieve a degree. There are plenty of days where I'm sick of school and I don't want to do it anymore, but I know it's necessary. Not only for myself, but also for my son. I need to set a good example. What I'm even more thankful for, is that I'm able to take all my classes online so that I can stay home with my son. If it weren't for the availability of distance education, there's a good chance that I may not even be finishing my schooling. But alas, I can. In a few years, I'll be thankful for that oh so important degree I will have in my hands.



More specifically, my ability to breastfeed. I've come to find that even though many women want to and have the desire to, it's not always possible. There are several close friends of mine who could only do it for a short while, and while that's still better than nothing, their desire was to do it for a year. Because I know it's not something every woman is capable of doing, or that some medical instances may prevent them from doing it for a full year, I am extremely thankful and grateful that I can. It's an amazingly beautiful bond that I've formed with my son. Over the past months I've gone from wanting to wean him after a year to 100% deciding that he can wean himself and there will be no "he can't go past this age" limit on it. I want nothing more than to keep this bond with him because not only is it healthy for him, but also for me. I'm so thankful that my body has not only been able to let me BF, but also that I've never had any issues with it what so ever. I completely understand how incredibly lucky I am and there's not a day that goes by that I don't remember that.


My Health

I'm thankful that I am healthy. Not only that I'm healthy at the moment, but that for the most part of my life I have been healthy and that I had a low risk pregnancy with no (real) complications during delivery. Yes I've had my fair share of colds, but never the flu. I've never had anything that bad and for that I am thankful. Short. Sweet. And to the point.


My Desire to Fight

Is it selfish of me to be thankful of a trait I possess? I don't think it is, unless I were to be vain and I say something about my looks, which I won't. I'm thankful that I have the desire to fight. Not fight physically, but emotionally and mentally. I never knew I had it in me until now. After over 3 months of pure torture, awful words, hurt feelings, and paper filing, I've found this inner strength in me that I didn't know I had. There have been plenty times when I'm sure many of you have hear me say "That's it, I'm done." At that time, and maybe for a few weeks after, yes I did feel that way. However, not one day later I would be back to square one of wanting to fight for what is mine... fight for what I believe in... fight for my marriage. It's the biggest promise and commitment I have ever, and will ever make. There is plenty wrongdoings on my part, and I want to fix those. I want to make things better. I don't want this to end. Deep down, even with everything that has gone, and the lack of trust, I cannot call it quits. My 40 day challenge is the last thing I can think of to do what needs to be done. If I don't do it, I'll feel like I didn't really give it my all, even though I know that's not true. There would always be that looming "what if" and I can't stand to have that be a possibility. So I will fight, and fight, and fight. In the end though, I know there's only so much I can do. I will not give up.



You know you're a mom when you're thankful for binkies lol. I have no idea how mom's who don't give binkies do it! Thankfully, my child is not dependent on his and doesn't need it to go to sleep, he doesn't wake up at night looking for it, and he doesn't need or want it all day long. In fact, about 80% of the time I try to give it to him he either throws it, plays with it, or just bites on it. However, there are times when it's a huge lifesaver and keeps him quiet or calms him down in an instant. I'm thankful that my child takes a binky, but also very thankful that he doesn't NEED one.



I'm not sure there's much need to explain this one. I'm a mom, I don't get a lot of sleep, starbucks has coffee, coffee has caffeine, caffeine makes mommy happy. For the first several months of Gunnar's life I had starbucks pretty much daily. It was a huge lifesaver (and bank breaker) but oh how I loved it. I just can't wait until I can start getting it at least on a weekly basis. And the best part? It's the holiday season, which means their peppermint mocha latte is out. It warms my heart =)

Ten on... Thursday?

*Children's Edition!

1. Gunnar can say "dadada." Not to be confused with "dada."
2. See?

3. He can also walk while holding onto someone's hands!
3. Proof:

4. Guess what else he can do... oh yeah, Fake cough.
5. Check it out:

6. Little man is also fully capable of putting himself to sleep... on his BACK! Such a huge 
accomplishment for him.
Now, we just need to work on getting back to STTN*
7. Tooth #4 is here! After over a week of crankiness, not sleeping, pools of drool, and
immeasurable amounts of Motrin, it's finally here!
9. Why yes, I did take pictures of my son playing with a fire hydrant.
10. 9 months & 1 week of amazing, beautiful, and perfect breastfeeding. That's goal #3 out of 4.

*Sleeping Through The Night


My Lord and Savior

I obviously would be non-existant if it wasn't for God. And without God, I wouldn't be saved by my Lord. I am who I am because of my Faith. I'm 100% proud to call myself a Christian and strive to live by the Word. Like any other human, I make mistakes and am fully aware of them. What sets me (and other believers) apart, is that not only to we acknowledge our mistakes, but we repent. My Lord's everlasting love and forgiveness is amazing. I want to be a better Christian and I try day in and day out to make that happen. He's is always there for me. I don't even need to ask, and he is there. No one is like Him. My Savior is an incredible one and the only out there. He loves me for me and would never ask me to change. I can be who I am because there is no one to impress but Him, and even I don't need to impress Him because he knows me. Whenever I'm having rough days (which happen occasionally, but not as frequently as they used to) I dive into my Bible and find comfort and strength. It is the only real cure all for what I am going through. I know that if I didn't have my faith, this whole deal would be so much harder on me. I'm constantly being told how strong I am and that people are amazing that I don't let how I may be feeling show through. Well, my strength comes from my Lord. My ability to not show what I may be feeling comes from my baby boy. I have no reason to worry about what might, could, or is going to happen. I have no control over it. He does. I lift all my worries up to Him and leave it at that. Faith is an incredible power that I'm so thankful that I have.


Laura Elizabeth H.

My oh my... eggs benedict =)
I would have been so lost in high school if it wasn't for her! I went to a brand new high school where I didn't know anyone and it sucked. Luckily, this amazingly gorgeous girl was in my health class, my biology class, AND my drama class. Talk about destiny! We instantly clicked and I'm so glad that we became friends. While we've never been your "tied to each other all the time and completely inseparable" best friends, we've still always been there for each other when it matters the most. Not only was she at my JOP ceremony, but she was also my maid of honor in my church wedding, and also came to the hospital on the biggest day of my life so far... the birth of her godson. Yep, she's not only the MOH but also a god mommy! Did I mention she also came to visit Gunnar when he was in the hospital with pertussis? Talk about an incredible friend! She's such a sweetheart and always wants to make others happy and feel good about themselves. I don't think I've ever heard her yell or get truly angry... ever! I wish I could see her more, but this girl is so dedicated to school and her sorority (props!) that it makes it difficult to hang out as much as we would like. Whether we see each other frequently or not, she still checks up on me to make sure things are going well. I know she'll be a part of my life for many many years and for that, I am thankful. I love you Lollie!


My In-Laws

I can't even begin to express how thankful I am for them. For the past year we (well, not only I) have been living with them because Sean couldn't get a job. Not only have they provided a place to stay, but also food. They've asked nothing more in return from us than to just pick up after ourselves. Even through everything going on now, they never cease to be kind and generous. They constantly ask if there is anything Gunnar or I need and if there is, they're more than happy to get it for me. I have no idea what we (I) would have done if it wasn't for them. My parents never opened their home to us like they have. In addition to opening their home, they've helped out countless times with bills. I'm in awe that people can be so kind... that family, even ones that aren't blood related and soon to not be related at all, are so willing to help. Every night I go to bed I always say an extra prayer for them. God has some great things planned for them with all they've done to help!

Excuse Me for a Minute.

I've been needing to vent and with this being my blog, what better outlet is there? If you don't feel like reading me venting, then stop here and read a different post or a different blog all together.

*Don't say I didn't warn you

I have about had it with people feeling the need to copy others. I've also had it with people completely ignoring any and all safety laws and putting their loved ones in danger. I am not perfect by any means and I don't go around preaching that I am. I am, however, not only a mother and have worked with children since I was 13 years old, but I'm also educated in early childhood development and I do research on pretty much anything and everything that has to do with my child (whew, that was a long sentence... talk about a run-on). That being said, there have been a couple events that have occurred this week that have pissed me off. Yes, I let them get to me. Should I have? Absolutely not; these people are not worth my time and I realize that. 

Safety laws exist for a reason. Child safety laws exist for an even bigger reason. As a parent, my child's safety and well being is my #1 priority as I'm sure it is for most parents. When I notice someone putting their child in danger AND breaking a law, I will say something. Now don't get me wrong, if you know me, you know I'm as far away from wanting confrontation as it gets so I would never talk to someone in an attacking manner. I like to approach things in a more educational manner and "hey, this made me think of you so I thought I'd share it with you." In this particular situation, the latter is exactly what I did. A girl on facebook posted a picture of her son (who was born the same day as Gunnar) in his new convertible car seat. It was forward facing. I decided not to jump to conclusions because she could very well have taken the picture then turned it around. I went ahead and messaged this girl and asked if he was actually forward facing, and to my shock and dismay, I found out he was. This little boy was 7 months old at the time! That is 100% illegal and completely unsafe! Her reasoning was that he was 22 pounds so she could go ahead and turn him around. She obviously didn't know the law on when it's ok to turn a child forward facing because not only does the child have to be 20 pounds, but s/he also has to be one year old. I went ahead and mentioned ERF* to her and in that included the fact that a child has to be 20 lbs and year to be FF*. She couldn't care less and got very pissy at me. I can't say I didn't expect that, as mom's tend to be very touchy when other mom's give them advice or tell them different ways of parenting. However, she went so far as to say that she would never put her child in any kind of danger... yet that is exactly what she was doing. 2 months later and he is still forward facing. I feel so sorry for this poor child and hope to God that she doesn't get into an accident and have something happen to him. These laws exist for a reason. 

*extended rear facing
*forward facing

Another issue I have is with (yet another) marine wife and mother. It's not the first time I've gotten upset by her antics and it sure won't be the last. Most of the time, I get upset on another friend's behalf. This person cannot seem to live her own life. She's constantly comparing her child to other children (mainly my friend's and my own child). Not only that, but once my friend's child, who is a month older, does something, this girl's child magically does it too. It's not something that happens every once in a while, but all the freaking time! It's incredibly annoying and I wish it would just stop. For some reason she feels the need to compare her child and make it seem like her's is above the curve. I've realized that she's been concentrating more on my friend's child than on my own and my guess is that Gunnar is slower with his milestones than my friend. In his defense, he is a boy and boys do things slower than girls and he also tends to cluster his milestones together in a week's time or less. Anyways, that's beside the point. It's just frustrating to be so happy for a friend and that friend's baby for a new accomplishment only to turn around and find out that this other person is flaunting that her child can now do the exact same thing. Coincidence? I think not. After about 15 months (or more) of this nonsense.. yes 15 months, pregnancies included, it needs to stop. My patience is growing very thin with this girl and I'm finding myself consciously trying to bite my tongue so I don't say something and come off like a complete bitch. Thankfully, I have some awesome friends to vent to who share my feelings and are more than willing to get mad right along with me. 



My Daddy

I'm the textbook definition of a daddy's girl. I've always been that way. My dad has been there for me through thick and thin. He's always available to talk and never judges. I can go to him for anything and never hesitate to tell him good news or bad news. When things are getting crappy I know I can count on him to make me feel better, or to give me a different perspective. He's extremely rational and never raises his voice. In fact, not once in my (almost) 21 years has he ever yelled or raised his voice at me. Ever. He's taught me everything I know and is an incredible man. I'm so happy to call him my father and the grandfather of my child. My son will learn so much from him in the years to come. He's my daddy and I love him. I'm thankful for him.


Gunnar Thomas Koehler

My little bundle of sweet baby boy joy. I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for him. He makes everyday worthwhile. As each day passes I fall even more in love with him and can't believe that I had a part in making him. Children are a huge blessing and a miracle and he is nothing short of that. I'm so thankful that my sweet boy is not only happy and growing well, but also healthy, especially after having pertussis at 6 weeks. He may do things at his own (super slow) pace, but that's just more reason to love him. He's in no hurry to grow up and I should embrace that and be grateful for it too. I am thankful for my one true love, my heart that lives outside my body, my love at first sight. My handsome sweet baby boy.

Catching Up

I currently have 3 posts in the works to go with my "thankful for" series. Things have been hectic here and I'm still trying to get back into the groove of things after my vacation. And by getting back into the groove of things, I mean doing all that school work that I put off until now.


There WILL be at least 2 posts published by tonight. Hopefully 3, but I'm not holding my breath.

Worth a Thousand Words


Smart me forgot to actually post this yesterday and instead left it saved in my drafts. 

Thanksgiving is 2 weeks away. What are you thankful for? How about your family, friends, the roof over your head, the computer (or phone) you're using to read this post, or maybe the food in your kitchen? There are so many things in my life I am thankful for and I need to remember that. I find myself being negative lately and trying my hardest not to think about the bad things, but they're all around me.


Everyday for the next two weeks, I'll make a post devoted to one thing I'm thankful for. I encourage you do to the same.

what are you thankful for?

Coming Up Next....

Keep a look out for a post filled with nothing but new pictures of Gunnar!

Teeth Galore

3 weeks ago my sweet gummy baby boy cut 3 teeth. He currently has his two top front teeth and his bottom left tooth. He looks so silly since his tooth came in out of order and he's stuck with only one bottom tooth. Yesterday I was taking a look at his gums, wondering if that other bottom one would come in, and lo and behold, I saw a tooth right underneath his gums. It's extremely close to cutting through. I actually expected it to have come through last night since he was drooling like crazy and was extremely cranky and clingy yesterday. However, that didn't happen, so now I'm praying that it cuts through tonight. Gunnar was nothing like this when he cut his first 3 teeth. I didn't eve know he cut them! This time though, he's super cranky and doesn't want me to put him down or even go out of his sight. It's not easy what so ever. When he does cut it he'll finally be proportioned! haha. So here's to hoping the next day or two results in a new tooth!


This technically should go in the breastfeeding section, but it won't. A few months ago I finally started doing something I really wanted to do, nursing in public. I was always a little hesitant on it since Gunnar likes to come off and look around a lot and I didn't want the chance of being exposed, especially since I never use a nursing cover. That's a whole other rant I could go on about, but the gist is that he gets hot and sweaty and has a hard time nursing when he is covered. One day at the mall I decided to just get over my hesitations and just do it. 

Why yes.
I did get some stares from people every once in a while, but for the most part, no one knew what I was doing which made me feel very comfortable with doing it. Since that day, I NIP almost every time we go out.

Not sure about how to do it?
You can always find somewhere to sit and nurse like you normally would. That's not for me though. I hate having to stop what I'm doing to sit and nurse when I'm perfectly capable of walking and nursing. And that, is where a sling comes in handy. I have a pouch sling and it makes nursing incredibly easy. I *wish* I had a ring sling though so it would be even easier, but a pouch sling works.

You'd never know he was nursing would you? See? Extremely easy AND discreet! Plus, it's an incredible feeling and for me, a huge accomplishment.
The more you practice, the easier it gets and the less and less you care about what other people may think and the looks you can encounter.

First Halloween

Today, while searching for my film camera in a box in the garage, I came across an item I have been missing so much... the charger for my DSLR!! Oh my gosh you have no idea how ecstatic I was (and still am!). I can finally get back to taking an absurd amount of pictures of Gunnar and can spend time editing which I love to do.

So without further ado, here is a preview of the Halloween photo shoot

and there you have it. Mommy's little sweet pea =)
More pictures to come as I edit them.